I’ll wait as long as I have to.

Some say anger is good and that “silent thoughts are angry words”

But is it really justified then, if to tell the truth, one must be blinded by anger to do so? But I digress. Anger in my opinion is not a positive thing. Those who disagree, feel free to, I wont hunt you down or something lol.

But this was recently upon my mind, due my recent spike in anger. I…I’ve just never been this angry before, seething with anger, a negative passion, that almost threatens to tear my very being to pieces. A feeling strong than any poison, and more numbing than any alcohol, anger turns the quiet into loud, and silent to outspoken.

Anger clouds judgement, and impedes thought, forcing you to make decisions without any real concern for the consequences. Consequences, which in this case can often be dire and costly. And it is this cost I cannot afford to make. I must not let this anger consume me. I must not let it control me. But most of all,

I must not let it define me.

My optimism a flaw? I fear you are mistaken. Optimism is not a flaw but rather a strength. It can give the poor, hope; the blind, joy; the depressed, happiness.

But most of all it can give you the strength, the fortitude, the courage, to do the things you fear the most.

Cheesy? Yes, most certainly. But in our world today, I guess cheesy is exactly what we need.

So Winter Break. Time off from the stress and trails of high school and all that jazz. It’s a time to spend with your family, bundled up in blankets, drinking hot chocolate, or something like that. Winter Break for me? It was wonderful, it was filled with spam (not the food), black ops, great gifts, fun times, and wonderful friends. It came and went so fast, that I barely had time to enjoy each and every moment with my family, and my friends. But overall, it was good. I’ll miss you a lot Winter Break.

Gah! So winter’s come and gone, (not quite) and Final are coming up real fast. Not just any finals, AP Finals. The “AP” just kicks up the scary level from disturbing to down right terrifying. I just don’t see how one test can perceive whether or not you’re a good student, or if you’ll get straight A’s or not. I just don’t believe that one test could show a college that you’re better than another person. Sure you can ace a test or two, but can you take that knowledge, remember it, then apply to the next assignment, or even life? It depends on the student really, and whether or not they could is taken away by a test, that’s nothing but a piece of paper with some bubbled in dots.

I don’t really like time. Time only reminds me that everything has a time limit, an end. Time governs everything from math and physics to life and death. Time makes people rush, and it stresses people out. Time makes people look at the end more rather than the current and the present. Time distracts people from really matters, whether its family, school, friends, or even love. I find that people who fear the end of their time, neglect what the fear to lose. Time entails time limits and boundaries. Boundaries that only cause nothing but pain and fear. Time stops people from enjoying life, from cherishing what they have until its gone leaving you wishing you spent your time in a better way. Time, only reminds me that all good things must come to a close.

If I could, I would live in a world without time.

Dear Insomnia,

Leave me alone.

Sincerely,

Adrian Keh

Well, it looks likes its gonna be a long night. Can’t sleep once again. So as usual I sit here, wandering about my quiet and sleepy house, seeking what evades me the most:

Sleep

I’m not too sure what’s wrong with me. I can’t sleep, TV doesn’t hold my attention for too long, same goes for the good old PS3. I can’t seem to concentrate on my books, or care enough to doodle. So I sit, and listen. I listen to my house, I listen to the fridge downstairs, the heater, the creaking steps, the wind outside my window, the breathing of my family as they dream, my own breath and heartbeat, and finally my thoughts. My head is like a cave, and my many thoughts are like echos. Millions of echos, constantly reverberating throughout my mind, threatening to drive me insane if I don’t think about them.  So I sit and I think. Think about the world, the news, the problems, my family, my goals, my dreams, my friends, my life, and last of all my faults and shortcomings. Maybe this is why I can’t sleep. Maybe this is why I shouldn’t sleep. Alas, whether I want to or not I have to think, and regardless of how much I try I won’t be able to sleep.

Thanks Insomnia for being there when you’re wanted the least

Love,

Adrian Keh

Welcome to Winter Break.